The Dating Game

When I was younger, my expectations for my future husband were simple. His last name had to come before mine in the alphabet because I hated being called last at school. And he had to be smart. Now I have a list that sometimes feels too long, but I guess really isn't too long when it comes to picking Mister Right. I mean you have to have standards don’t you? I have standards, but for some reason they aren't being met. And let me tell you I have dated my fair share of guys. Or men. Or boys. Or male human species.

I have dated guys who look good on paper as I like to call it. They have a good job, good credit, Nice smile, likes to buy me things and take me places because he says I’m pretty…you get it. But what was wrong with them? The last one who looked good on paper didn't look that good in person to me. Am I shallow? Shouldn't I want to wake up next to him and give him a kiss in the morning? Not that nice guy.

I've dated thugs. Oh yes. I actually like them a little rough, or “jagged” around the edges as one guy told me. What’s the attraction there? We sure won’t be living my fantasy life where I own a $6,000 yellow leather couch from Anthropologie if because of his shaky past, his potential for the big bucks is dwindled.

And I've dated short. Nothing against all of my fabulous shorter than average height men out there, but you can’t fault a girl for wishing a Dwight Howard sized chocolate man spots her at the grocery store and the rest is history. And a Dwight Howard wallet to match wouldn't be so bad either. I mean I’m content with my current pay check to pay check living, but I wouldn't be mad at the presentation of marrying into more funds. I’m just being honest.

Then there were the Christian men. I’m an imperfect Christian woman. And this is not a knock to Christian men, or Christian people for that matter. But let me tell you. There was not enough Jesus in those”Christian” romances, and so at some point I had to cut those loose. I mean the person you date is supposed to make you better right? So what was the point of us both being in the wrong? I can do bad all by myself as the saying goes…

But I digress. Because of all these experiences, I now have “The List”. I’m sure there is some man supremely hating on the list because some woman with horrible experiences whipped out her scroll of new found standards to prevent further heartbreak. And I get it. I get her. I am her to some degree. And I get him too. Who wants to be held to some list because of past hurts caused by one jerk? Or a lot of jerks. Or maybe they weren’t jerks, but they left a sour taste in her mouth. It doesn't matter now, she (I) have a list.

So Now I’m the list chick. I look at it. And then I look at who I date. Only about 50% of them meet most of the requirements. I mean smoking is not so bad as long as he does it outside right? And I can get over a felony if he has given his life to Christ right? At this point, I have decided that my heart and brain know nothing. They have both led me astray. The brain led me to continue dating the nice guy because he was that; nice. But my heart couldn’t handle it. And right now, my heart is smitten with someone who would automatically be eliminated because he can’t pass the list test. Not even close. So what should I do? What do I do? Whelp, what I am doing is going for the ride. I know, that sounds ridiculous. But I mean I am having a great time. I just make sure not to do things that led to Vegas weddings and babies. That I am NOT ready for. At least not like that. But I have decided, Mister Right, who looks good on paper and in person is out there wondering where I am. Okay maybe not. But the point is he hasn't met me yet. And that’s okay. I can date, and meet crazy blind men who want to take me out, and just enjoy the laughs. And I still have my list. Not so I can check it off, but more like a guide or reference to make sure my priorities are straight. This is how I have found peace with dating.

Oh, so at this point, I am not sure if I should give advice or something. That’s what a lot of people do when they talk about dating. My advice: Let a few of the crazy one’s through to the next round. They give you the best stories.

Xoxo,

Lasondra

P.S. Every reference to a man and dating situation is based on my REAL experiences. There is a real thug with a felony, and there was a real blind man. Why lie?