My Real Life ABG Moment….
That awkward moment he walks in with his wife…yeah, that part! Now before you start judging me,let me explain…
I’m out with my friends at a nice wine bar in Santa Monica (you know, that one) a few Fridays back. Happy hour was almost over, so I ordered both my drinks at the same time (probably the beginning of this awkward memory). I ordered one glass of pinot grigio and a glass of sangria. Now I am a ‘light weight’ by most people’s standards, but I also had not eaten much or drank a lot of water that day, so the stage is set for something spectacularly hilarious to happen at my expense. I was sitting next to the door, but couldn't see the people coming through the door. Once my friends got there, we moved to a more open table...me sitting directly facing the door (second key part to this truly, wonderfully awkward social mishap). As I finish my glass of wine, I am a tad…loopy one could say. As my friends and I chat about our college years and trot down memory lane, we begin to discuss ‘said’ person (the power of the tongue y’all- I must have spoken him into existence…my existence).
Now, let me tell you about ‘said’ man. This guy has truly made a life for himself. He has really become quite successful. And frankly, it’s just not fair! I liked him when he didn’t have nothing! When he was bumming it around campus and rocking braids; when camouflage was the new hot thing. Now someone else is experiencing the life I used to fantasize we would have- house, cars, trips, cash, happiness. He’s wearing designers I have never heard of or know how to pronounce. No one understood why I liked him so much. It’s not like he’s Idris Elba. Nevertheless, he makes my heart race and when friends would see him on campus, they would come up to me later and say, ‘I saw your boo!’. This year will be our ‘ten year anniversary’. 10 years ago this summer we met. Even though I felt this way and I could see he had feelings for me, we never dated…EVER! We have even discussed it ad nauseum. There were so many chances for us to at least see what could have been, but nothing. I know I am one to fall for a guy with potential, and ONLY potential. But with this one, I should have seen it and stuck with it, because it would have paid off in the long run. I can be honest and say I experience a little bit of hateration when I think about it. Secretly hoping I will be second wife material (I know, I know. I need professional help). But after I also that to pass, I really am happy for him…and her…I guess. (He’s still working on me).
So here I am, on my second drink (I should probably have slowed down or ate something by this point) and I see a woman who looks ALL TOO FAMILIAR walking into the establishment I am currently spilling my guts in. My eyes are fixated on the door. I can’t turn away. It can’t be her, because that would be just too weird. A woman walks in behind her (reinforcements just in case I get out of hand I am sure…she heard me talking about her man), then a man, then it happens…I see the outline of ears and glasses that make me automatically weak in the knees. OOOOOHHHHHH NOOOOOOO!!! SERIOUSLY?! FOR REAL?!!?!
I start saying (too loud I might add) “Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!”. I’m flustered, I’m shocked…I’m now staring at the table and fumbling for my phone so I have something to occupy these emotions I’m feeling. My friends are busting a gut at this point. I feel like I am going to cry (I am almost done with my second drink. I should have stopped while I was ahead). He actually comes over and says hello. I’m startled. I didn’t see him walking over toward us. I was in a fog. They sit in their VIP section and more people started to come. I guess they were having a party. Good for them! (Can you sense the sarcasm? I hope so).
We finish up our night, as I dodge going to the restroom as people from that party go. I’m not trying to have my first fight in a wine bar restroom. We start walking to our cars and he’s outside, talking to someone. No goodbyes are exchanged, no looks. I just leave. I go home and laugh at the awkwardness of the situation. You may ask why it’s so awkward. You ask very great questions. Ever know someone still has feelings for you? Wonder why your wedding invitation never came in the mail when you thought you were so close? Ever wonder why he still makes slick comments about the guys you date or talk to and tells me that he has tenure (you know, because of the whole 10 year thing? He’s cute like that…that sucka!)?
Yeah…that part.
Oh, and this….the text I got the next morning: “Awkward moments in the theme for this weekend.”
*Shout out to Issa Rae! She has created a world with her show "The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl" I finally feel like accurately articulates my life's happenings! She has really made my life a more pleasurable, yet still awkward..thing! Haha :)
